


Death's Waiting Room

by artsyAquarius



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Afterlife, Angels, Deathfic, Dream Bubbles, F/F, F/M, Ghosts, M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-28
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyAquarius/pseuds/artsyAquarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Feferi Peixes, and you are dead. <br/>The only thing you remember is your name, a flicker of anger and a flash of white light. <br/>But you're going to have to remember a lot more if you're going to move on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What if the dream bubbles worked a little differently? This is a fic based on the idea that you have to remember how you died before you can get out. This is going to be pretty Erifef based (and also my OT4: Eridan/Sollux/Feferi/Aradia). It's all about new beginnings, and discovering that some people were just....meant to be.

Your name is Feferi Peixes, and you are dead.   
It’s been like this for a while. It doesn’t shock you much anymore. At least, not much.   
It probably helps that you can’t remember much from when you were alive. All that you recall is a feeling of anger, and a bright white light. It’s not much to go on, but not many people here remember much else.   
‘Here’ is hard to explain. It’s a blank slate in some kind of pocket dimension, or at least that’s what you’ve heard. The place is made up of odd bits of furniture, from the minds of those who’ve remembered and moved on. Everything ‘here’ is grey, mostly. The people, dead people, have splashes of colour around their death wounds. You’ve come to think of those colours as their auras. For example, yours is a dark pink ring around the gaping hole beneath your collarbone. You…you think you were shot by something. Not a gun; the wound’s too big. But it gives you a headache if you think about it too long. It’s kind of funny how you can still feel pain in the afterlife.   
You suppose you’re lucky. Other people have died worse deaths than you, a lot worse. And some still have a weapon implanted in them. Looking at some of them gives you chills, even though it’s not cold.   
You’re still not completely sure how things work around ‘here’. You don’t know where to go, or what you’re supposed to do to help you remember. You don’t even know what will happen to you when you do.   
Pacing around, you twirl a lock of hair around your fingers. Your hair is ridiculously long and curly, and though the blurred grey that is your body now dulls everything, it must have been really lustrous when you were alive. You’re also wearing a strange kind of tiara. Maybe you were royalty, or maybe you’d just liked to dress up, or something. You make your way to a stray chair and sit in it. Its fabric is soft, the carvings in the frame intricate. Apparently you have a taste for expensive things, too.   
There’s a bright flash of red, and the sudden burst of colour catches your attention. A smiling girl appears out of the mist, and even stranger, she’s alive.   
She must be an angel. That’s all she can be, though she doesn’t look like you’d expect. She’s not human, that’s for sure. You thought maybe you were, because you looked a lot like what was called ‘human’, but it didn’t feel right. This girl, however, is something else entirely. She has grey skin and irises, surrounded by orange where white should be. She’s wearing a strange red outfit that flows around her. Her hair is long, too, but a different texture to yours. It’s more….fluffy, and soft. She also has two curly horns on her head, and beautiful gossamer wings sprouting from her shoulder blades. She stands in front of you now, so vibrant and just living, and you’re not sure what to do.   
“Hi there!” she says cheerfully. Her voice seems to echo, but none of the ghosts around you seem to notice her.   
“Hi,” you say, smiling back with only a hint of scepticism. You possibly should be scared, but her energy is contagious.   
“You’re Feferi, aren’t you?” she says, though doesn’t sound like a question. More like a fact she’s happy to know. You nod, and she grins even wider.   
“I’m Aradia. You’re new here, so I’m going to help you understand this place better, ok?” she’s talking slowly, softly, as if to a young child. Like she doesn’t want to confuse or scare you off.   
“That sounds great,” you say, with a small chuckle. “If you don’t mind me asking, how come you’re alive?”   
Aradia laughs, her eyes scrunching up. “You could say I have a special pass here. I like to think of myself as the caretaker of the afterlife. I know a lot about you, Feferi, as well as most people here!” her words put you at ease instantly. Maybe being dead won’t be so bad.   
“How long have I been here?”   
She tilts her head, thinking. “It wouldn’t have been too long. A couple of days, maybe? It usually takes a while for the soul to arrive here, so you’re not late or anything.” She speaks to you familiarly, like you’ve been friends for a long time. It kind of feels like that to you, too.   
But you could have sworn you’d been here longer than that. It felt like a week, at least. “Huh. Really? It feels like forever…”   
“Time is kind of funny around here. You think you’ve been standing in one place for only a second, when actually, it could have been a year!” Discussing time and death seem to be a great cause of entertainment for her.   
“So…you say you know a lot about me, do you?” you say, smiling craftily. She nods vigorously. “Do you know how I died?”   
She winks at you. “You’ll have to find that one out for yourself!”   
This doesn’t satisfy you in the least. “How exactly am I supposed to do that? I could barely remember my own name!”   
Her hand pats you on the shoulder, and it gives you a sudden surge of warmth. You’ve had the other ghosts brush past you, but they had been cold and flimsy, like mist. Aradia’s hand is solid and hot against your bare shoulder. Oh. You just noticed you’re wearing a tank top. And a funny-looking skirt. And a heck of a lot of jewellery, too.   
“You’ll figure it out eventually, I know you will. You just have to remember.” You raise an eyebrow and pout, so she explains further. “In death, you are often attracted to the people you’ve known in your lifetime. Eventually, if you’re around the right person long enough, you’ll start to recall little details about your life, and then you’ll remember how you died!”   
You frown. “And then what?”   
Aradia grins. “Then you’ll be free!”


	2. Chapter 2

You’re going to be here a lot longer than you expected. You don’t recognise anyone, but sometimes when you see someone, you feel some trace of familiarity. Aradia’s gone off to help out some other wayward souls, so you slump back into your lavish armchair and try to pretend you were best friends with everyone you see.   
You look up when someone sits next to you. It’s a boy, around what you assume is your age. He’s a lot taller than you though; you’ve also just noticed how short you are compared to some. He had boxy glasses and slicked-back hair, around his neck is a stripy scarf and he’s wearing pinstriped pants. His getup looks pretty ridiculous, and you want to laugh until you see that his torso is separated from his hips. His top half is just kind of….floating slight above his top half. Surrounding the two sections of his body is his rich violet aura.   
“Hey there.” He says, seeming infinitely tired. His gaze flickers towards you, and he does a double-take. You almost feel like you should be doing the same, like you know him, but then the feeling is gone. “You w-were lookin’ pretty lonely there, so I thought I’d join you.”   
He’s stuttering over his w’s, and you find it adorable. “I’m Feferi. At least, that’s what I remember.” You say, with a small chuckle.   
The corners of his mouth twitch up. It’s not quite a smile, but it’s nice. “Eridan Ampora. I saw the red fairy girl talkin’ to you a w-while ago. You’v-ve been here longer than me, at least.”   
Aw, he has trouble with v’s, too. “So she’s a fairy now, is she? I thought she was an angel.”   
Eridan huffs. “I’ve never really like the idea of angels.”  
You tilt your head. “Really? Why’s that?”  
“I don’t know. Just the way they get to fly around and be all high-and-mighty with their glorified fuckin’ wings and all.”   
You grin playfully. “You’re a bit of a pessimist, aren’t you?”  
Eridan looks up at you, eyes wide. “Yeah, I guess I am,” he says wondrously. You beam at him. Every new thing you learn about each other brings you closer to remembering, even if it’s the littlest details.   
“So, what are you in for? Over dose on cuteness or somethin’?” the lame attempt at a pick-up line makes you laugh.   
“Nope! I got shot in the chest with something.” At this, Eridan turns his gaze to your death wound, then quickly looks away, embarrassed. If he was tangible and had blood, he’d be blushing.   
“I, uh…I got sawed in half by somethin’. Don’t know why, but it seems intentional.” It does, too. You study the waistline of his pants, absently noting the surrealism of his floating body. It’s too clean a cut to be accidental, or made by an animal. The weapon that was used must have been terrifying to look at.   
For a second, you swear you can see some…organs or something hanging from his top half, and you quickly look back up to see him staring at you with a mixture of horror and timidness. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to stare, I just- well, it’s kind of strange, isn’t it?”   
“What?!” Eridan blusters, then calms himself. “Oh…you mean my gash. Well, it is a bit weird, not bein’ connected to everythin’.”   
You reach for his hand, and it’s like an instinct. “Heh. Well, I got my heart blown out, so I’m weird, too.”   
He gives you a searching look. “I can’t help but feel like I’ve known you.”   
You nod. “Me too. Hey, maybe we did know each other! Aradia said we’d be drawn to the people we’ve met in our lives.”   
“Well, then…we found each other pretty quickly, didn’t we? That must mean we’re…soul mates.” He grins and does this wiggly-thing with his eyebrows that makes you giggle.  
“Why are you flirting so hard? We’re already dead, aren’t we?” you say the words lightly, still laughing.   
He sighs, kind of sinking into himself. “I just figure the afterlife’s a long time to be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only the second chapter and I'm already introducing Erifef fluff.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you do when someone remebers who, but you have no clue who they are?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions about how this AU's afterlife works, just put it in a comment and I'll answer you!

You’re talking to Eridan when the same red light you saw appeared, and suddenly you were in a completely different place.   
You figure Aradia must be talking to Eridan, having a nice one-on-one without any prying eyes or ears. That’s fine with you. You can catch up on your conversation anytime.   
Would you look at that. There’s another angel. Actually…no, you don’t think this one’s an angel, but he’s definitely alive….maybe? He’s bright, anyway, bright and colourful. He has the same grey skin as Aradia, but he has four brightly coloured horns. He’s wearing a simple t-shirt and pants, but his shoes are different colours, and he has a strange gold-yellow marking on his chest. Wait…that’s his aura, a dark gold colour that tickles the beginning of a memory. The strangest thing about him, though, is his eyes. One of them is white, like everyone else’s, but the other is hollow. Weird. He’s wearing a pair of pink goggles over them, which look very out of place.   
He sees you and comes towards you, a calculating smirk on his face. He reaches up, removes the goggles from his eyes and holds them out to you. “I thought you might want these back, FF.”   
You stare at him blankly. “Are…are you talking to me? I’m sorry, I…I don’t think I remember you.” You try to smile, but his face freezes. It’s like he’s trying to figure out how to react.   
He slumps his shoulders and lowers his head. When he raises it again, he tries to pull off a half-hearted smile, but it’s the most heart breaking expression you’ve ever seen. “No…no, I’m sorry. I must be thinking of someone else. I’ll get out of your way, then.”   
You feel sorry for him. Maybe you did know him? The sight of the goggles gave you a weird feeling, but you had the same recognition for him as you had for Eridan and Aradia. “Wait, don’t go. What’s your name?”  
He looks back up at you, and for a second something like joy crosses his face. “I’m Sollux. I’m….I’m a friend of Aradia’s.”  
You grin at him. He has a cute little lisp that makes you want to hug him. “I’m Feferi Peixes. Aradia’s reel nice, isn’t she?” Wait a second. You just said ‘real’ instead of ‘really’. It sounds stupid when you put it into words, but it feels like something important.   
Sollux – that’s a really nice name – gives you a half-smile. “Yeah, AA’s great. You know, we can help you here any time. If you’re feeling confused, or scared, or….or whatever.” He turns away, almost bashfully.   
Isn’t that just the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard? “Thank you so much! I’ll keep an eye out for you if I need anything!”   
He half-smiles again before you’re suddenly transported back to your comfy couch beside Eridan. “Where’d you go?” he asks, eyes wide.   
You shrug. “Ghost teleportation, or somefin!” you giggle, and feel that strange sensation of remembering.   
It must have shown on your face, because Eridan’s staring at you. “You get the jolts again?”  
You tilt your head. “What?”  
“The jolts. You know, that feelin’ you get when you remember somefin?” he explains. Oh. Yeah, ‘the jolts’ is a perfect name for it.  
“You said it too! Somefin! What does that mean, then?” This is exciting! You’re both remembering things, so you must be getting closer to the truth!  
Eridan thinks this over. “I said that when I was talkin’ to Aradia. Must’ve been a thing we both said.”   
“Yeah, but isn’t it weird that both of us say it? Do you think it means something?”  
He twists his lip and shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe? I wouldn’t go getting’ all over-excited about every little thing that happens.”   
You pout. “Oh, come on! You’ve got to be positive about this! We’re finding out more and more about each other all the time! Don’t you think it’s a bit of a coincidence? Whatever, I think it’s a sign!”  
Eridan raises an eyebrow at you and smirks. “Fine, if you’re goin’ to get all defensive about it, then I don’t wanna crush your dreams or whatever.”   
You grin. “Good. There shall be no more dream crushing from now on!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I can finally write Fef and Eri in character! The 'jolts' sure make things easier!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More and more memories are being unveiled, but not all of them will be good, as Eridan finds out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this has an actual plot.

You’re started to notice that you get a mild case of the jolts at every ghost you see now. It used to only happen occasionally, but now it’s a lot more frequent. Also, there seem to be a lot of ghost duplicates. You don’t think you’ve seen another of you or Eridan, but you wouldn’t rule it out.   
You’re busy staring very hard at the back of one ghost’s head, trying to recognise them, when Eridan taps you on the shoulder. “What’s goin’ on over there?”  
He’s pointing at Aradia, who is currently standing in front of someone else. It’s not Sollux, but whoever it is, they are very much alive. And glowing. Even past Aradia’s figure, you can see a luminous white glow shining around the two of them. You and Eridan take a step closer. The newcomer is completely freaking out, shouting and fighting Aradia’s comforting arms. She looks similar in colour to Aradia and Sollux, with her dark hair and pointed horns. One of them stands up almost straight, and the other is bent at an angle. She’s wearing a bright red skirt and a black shirt with a green ‘m’ on it. Her aura is the same colour, and it’s a big, gaping hole blown through her abdomen.   
As she struggles, Aradia turns her around, and her eyes are a blinding fury. They land on the both of you, and narrow. “Hello, Eridan.” She says, her voice ice-cold with hatred.   
You look up at Eridan. His mouth is gaping, and he takes a shocked step back. He looks like he’s been slapped.   
Aradia distracts the girl, who looks like she’s about to strangle Eridan. “Shh…Kanaya, it’s ok. You’re not dead.”   
The girl turns back to Aradia. “So I’m dreaming, then.” She says simply, as if it’s obvious. Wait…did that mean Aradia and Sollux were dreaming, too? This girl’s appearance confused you.   
Aradia nodded. “You figured that out pretty quickly! But, yes, you are dreaming. Your body’s going through a metamorphosis right now. When you wake up, you’ll find you’ve gone through quite a lot of changes!”  
Kanaya seemed calmed by this, though it made no sense to you whatsoever. She looks down at herself. “Hmm. This will probably be an inconvenience in the future.” Urk. The hole in her torso was clear and wide, and showed a lot of green organs. Whatever caused it must have blown out a few spinal disks along the way.   
“I’m sure you’ll be fine. As you well know, rainbow drinkers are exceptionally strong.” Aradia said, with a kind smile.   
“Do you remember her?” you whisper quietly to Eridan, who’s looking really shell-shocked.   
“I…I don’t know? I mean…I’m gettin’ serious jolts here, Fef, but I really can’t remember.” He called you Fef. It sounds natural on his lips.   
“Well, she sure seems to remember you!” you say. Right now, she’s chatting with Aradia, but occasionally she shoots a poisonous glance in Eridan’s direction.   
“Hey, Fef, do you….do you think I killed her?” he says, so quiet you can barely hear him.   
You look up at him, shocked. The idea hadn’t crossed your mind, but you don’t want him thinking it. “No, I’m sure you didn’t! If she’s…um, undead or whatever, just now, and you’ve been dead for a while, how would that work?”  
It doesn’t seem to reassure him much. “She looks like she hates me, though. I must ‘a done somefin terrible to her for her to look at me like that.” He looks so distraught that you can’t help but wrap your arms around him in a hug. He’s shocked at first, but then he hugs you back. It’s strange; you’re both nearly intangible. You feel that if you squeeze too tight, you’ll pass right through him. You pull apart and notice you’ve got some purple on your stomach.   
“I don’t care what you did in the past. What matters is that you’re here, but so am I, and we’ve found each other so thins have to get better, right?”


	5. Chapter 5

That experience sure was frightening, especially for poor Eridan. He hasn’t stopped shaking since the appearance of the glowing girl, and you constantly have to hold his hand and smile at him to stop him moping.   
Eventually, that gets old, and he succumbs to sadness. “I’m just really worried here, Fef. What if I’m actually a terrible person? What if we remember, and it turns out you hate me? I don’t know if I’d be able to deal with that.”  
You scoff at him. “Eridan, nothing’s going to make me hate you! There’s a reason for everything; even if you did do terrible things, and I’m not saying you did, I’d still be able to forgive you.”   
He sighs. “Yeah, but…I’ve got an awful feelin’ that I did somefin really bad. Like, somethin’ of catastrophic measures.”   
“Um…e-excuse me, miss?”  
A little hand taps at your shoulder. There’s a small girl standing next to you, looking hopelessly lost. She has short, curly hair and normal-looking clothes (a t-shirt and jeans), but one of her arms is bent at an odd angle. You look closer. There are dark green smudges all over her, but on the bent arm you can see the bone. She seems to have cracks running through her skull. She wasn’t killed in a quick flash, for sure. She suffered. She suffered a lot more than anyone her age should.   
When your eyes meet, you feel a surge in your chest, and she smiles brightly at you. You jump up from your chair and hug her, tears slipping from your eyes. You feel like you’ve just been reunited with a part of your soul you didn’t know was there. “I…I almost remember you!” she says, her voice high-pitched and sweet and familiar.   
You laugh and let go of her, inspecting her face. “What happened to us?” this is amazing! You lost her sometime, you split apart from her, but you’ve found her! You still don’t remember quite who she is, or what connection you had, but it’s right on the tip of your tongue!  
“I-I’m not sure, but…I’m so glad I found you! You were the first person I saw here, and I…I…” she bursts into tears of joy, resting her head against your shoulder. “Um. I’m Nepeta, by the way.” She giggles. “Isn’t this place strange? It feels like I’ve know you for ever, but I don’t know anything about you!”  
You laugh, too. It definitely is weird. “I’m Feferi. I’m…wow, I’m so happy to see you! Oh my god, you must be so confused, I’m so sorry! You must have so many questions about this place, right?”  
Nepeta tilts her head and smiles. “Um, yeah, actually! I kind of…Well, I feel like I’ve lost someone. Other than you, I mean.” She frowns, looking down. “I feel like I was really angry, because I couldn’t save them. They must be here, though! They have to be!”   
You nod and smile. “I’m sure you’ll find them! I found Eridan, after all! I don’t actually know who we were or anything, but you know, we’re attracted to the people we knew in life! I bet you find them reel quick!” you both look over at Eridan, who gives Nepeta an awkward little wave.   
You can see Aradia’s red light, and know you’ll be transported out of there soon. You pull Nepeta in one last hug. “We’ll catch up, I promise! We’ll stick together, me and you!” you say, and give her cheek a little kiss before you and Eridan are both swept away.   
“Well, looks like you’ve found a friend.” Eridan says, somewhat grumpily.   
You pout. “Oh, don’t look so grumpy! I’m not gonna abandon you, silly! It’s just…I think Nepeta and I are connected! Like…more than friends or whatever, like…spiritually!”   
Eridan raises an eyebrow at this. “Right. I just hope she finds who she’s lookin’ for quickly. A lot a weird stuff can happen here, can’t it?”   
You nod, thinking about that Kanaya girl. She’d really shaken up Eridan. He was completely shattered to think that he deserved the look of hatred she’d given him. You prayed that when he remembered, he’d be able to forgive himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feferi and Nepeta's 'connection is meant to be a reference to Fefetasprite. My idea is that some part of them is in the afterlife, and another part knows that they're one being on another plane.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't think of any notes, only that it's hot as hell at my house so if this seems really rushed it's because I hate heat and can't focus.

It seems like you bump into someone new the second you finish talking with someone. This time, you and Eridan are walking around, chatting and not looking where you’re going. You literally crash into someone, and you feel like you were hit by a cruise ship.   
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Are you ok?!” You practically scream at the ghost.  
“Forgive me. I should have been watching where I was going.” He grunts, his voice deep and oddly formal. Even at your relatively short height, he towers over you, and Eridan, too. His death wounds….oh. The string of a broken bow is wrapped around his neck several times, and there’s an arrow shot straight through his knee. Around both wounds is his dark blue aura.   
“No, no, it’s alright. I wasn’t watching where I was going either.” You glance at Eridan. He’s eyeing the stranger with a mixture of suspicion and fear. Admittedly, he is quite an intimidating sight. He’s all muscles and frowns, but doesn’t seem particularly angry.   
“I apologise. I was distracted, you see. I am looking for-”  
“Equius!”   
Nepeta, to your surprise, comes out from nowhere and pounces on the guy. He doesn’t seem annoyed, he just patiently pulls her off of him while she grins madly. “Feferi! This is Equius! Equius, this is my friend Feferi, and, um….”  
“Eridan.” He supplies grumpily, still glaring at Equius warily.   
You can see Equius’s shoulders tense. Neither of the boys seem comfortable around each other. “It was a pleasure meeting you.” He mutters, picking at the string around his neck. It gives you a gross feeling to watch.   
“You, too,” you smile cheerfully as Nepeta scampers off, Equius in tow.   
“Those two…seems like they had it pretty tough.” Eridan remarks quietly. “Do you ever just…watch everyone going past, and wonder why they’re dead? Like that guy…how does stuff like that even happen? And why? And the girl was covered in so much blood…” he shivers.   
You frown. “Blood?”  
He tilts his head. “You know, that green stuff on her. Yours is pink, mine’s purple….well, what else could it be?”  
Oh. You hadn’t thought of that. “Well…I thought it might have been our auras, or something. Like our souls leaking through where the skin is broken.”  
Eridan raises an eyebrow and smirks. “That’s pretty fuckin’ weird, Fef.”  
You giggle. “Yeah, I guess it is. But it seemed nicer than just plain blood. Besides, I thought blood only came in one colour?”   
“Yeah….I guess. I must be pretty violent minded, then, huh?”  
Ah. You can see Sollux lurking around in the shadows. You grin and wave him over.   
“Hey Feferi.” He says, that shy half-smile on his face again. You can’t really tell, but you think he gave Eridan a quick glance with his monochromatic eyes.   
“Oh! Sollux, this is Eridan.” You introduce the two, though it seems like Eridan’s making an effort not to look at you.   
Sollux smirks at you. “I know, Feferi. I’m kind of an expert on dead people, remember?”   
You laugh. “Yeah, I guess you are. So, um, do you know what the deal was with that glowing girl?” you try to get onto a topic, since Eridan’s kind of shooting deathglares at Sollux.   
Sollux’s eyes widen. “You…you saw that?”   
You and Eridan both frown. “Yeah….why? Weren’t we supposed to?”  
He shakes his head, as if trying to shake his doubts away. “No, it’s just…I thought Aradia kept that a secret.” He sighs and looks down. “Kanaya…well, she’s had it pretty tough. She’s lucky enough to get to go back, though. She’s been missed.”   
Eridan’s looking at the ground with a forlorn expression. “That wouldn’t have anythin’ to do with me, would it?”   
Sollux opened his mouth, then closed it, considering his words. “I…I can’t tell you that. But I can tell you this; there’s no point worrying about something you can’t remember. From what I can tell, what you’ve done in the past shouldn’t matter here, should it? I mean, c’mon, you’re dead. It’s new start. Besides, what else can happen?”   
Eridan’s jaw clenched up as he spoke so quietly you almost couldn’t hear him. “Just cuz you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t feel.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A change of perspective. This chapter is from Aradia's point of view.

Your name is Aradia Megido, and you are just learning exactly how careful you have to be. “Sollux, what did you think you were doing?” you ask, your voice as tired as you are.   
He raises an eyebrow at you, black and white eyes narrowed. “About what, exactly?”   
You sigh. You know each other too well. “Come on. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”   
He shrugs. “Sorry, AA. You’ll have to explain it to me.” The way he won’t meet your eye is evidence that he’s just not admitting it.   
“I’m talking about you calling Feferi by her pet name, and trying to give back her goggles!”   
He smiles at you mischievously. “What, are you jealous?” he reaches out to grab a lock of your hair and wrap it around his finger. You know he’s only trying to distract you, though. As much as you love his antics, you have important things to talk about.   
You push his hand away. “I’m being serious, Sollux. You can’t just go and forcefully try to trigger their memories!” this snaps him right back to being grouchy and uncooperative.   
“And why not? Are we expected to just stand here and watch our old friends stumble around without a clue about who they are?”   
You’ve spoken about this before. You don’t want to deal with this right now. “Yes, ok? That’s exactly what we’re supposed to do! It’s the rules!” Why didn’t he ever listen? Though…you knew where he was coming from.   
He glares at you. “I loved her! You know that, AA! And try to tell me you’re ‘ok with it’, because I know you’re not. But I can’t just pretend that I don’t know her. She meant a lot to me, still does.” You turn away. You don’t want to hear this.   
“Zahhak’s here now. You gonna go off and play nursemaid to him?”   
You gape at him, feeling your eyes sting. “Sollux!”  
He curses and covers his face with his hand. “Fuck…I-I’m sorry, AA. I’m just…really fucking pissed off. This really sucks, you know. Everyone we’ve seen here…I actually do care about them. Yeah, even Ampora. How can we be expected to keep leading them on? And what about when FF remembers? You’ve seen how close they’ve gotten! They’re both gonna be heartbroken!”   
You envelope him in a hug, knowing you’re the only one whose contact will make any impact. “I know it’s horrible. I don’t like it either. But….they’re going to have to deal with it themselves. The rules are in place. He made them, and you know what’ll happen if he finds out we’ve been helping them.”   
Sollux pulls away. “Yeah, but they’re rules in a game I never signed up for.”   
“Then why are you still here? What’s keeping you from leaving?” you say, hurt. Several times he’s told you he doesn’t want to be here. It cuts more every time.   
He pulls you back into the hug and whispers in your ear. “You’re what’s keeping me. I can’t leave you here, can I?” You smile into his shoulder. He’s probably the only thing keeping you sane, and you’re pretty sure he returns the feeling. If he left…..you’d be at a loss for what to do.   
“Hey….so, you brought those two back in time to see Kanaya?”   
You sigh. “Guilty.”   
He kisses your neck softly, the warmth of his lips comforting after the cold touches of ghosts. “Wouldn’t that be considered helping?” he’s not mad anymore, at least, you hope not. Actually, he’s probably just trying to keep you both happy before you start inevitably arguing again.   
“Y-yeah, I guess. I think Eridan needed to see that. But I promise I’ll stop! It’s only fair that both of us have to be subtle.”   
You can feel his mouth smile against your neck. He lifts up his head and kisses you on the lips, familiar and welcome. “Hey, at least it can’t be too long until they remember right? Then…when they all remember, we can leave, can’t we?”   
You nod and smile as he plays with your hair. You don’t have the heart to tell him that he’ll be leaving without you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'he' mentioned when they're talking about the rules is Lord English. He is the personification of death in Alternia, so I thought it would make sense to have him in control of the afterlife.   
> (Also, some of the events don't make perfect sense in regards to the timelines, but....let's blame it on time shenanigans and Aradia's powers!)


End file.
